Ohh, this is the second one I’ve gotten! This makes me so happy :D Thank you very much!

11: What things have you learnt about yourself since starting recovery? 

I use food as a way to mask all other pain I feel, and I’m terrified of feeling anything bad or appearing weak around people. I am a clever girl, but I am being silenced by a voice that isn’t me. I try really hard to make people happy and like me, but it eats me up inside. I really don’t think I’m worth much. I push myself very hard and try to achieve very difficult goals, punishing myself when I don’t. I need to try and gain self worth and let myself off the hook more often.

34: What do you like about yourself now that you are in recovery?

This is a hard one. I don’t know if I am far enough mentally to like myself yet. I like that I can work better now thing, my mind doesn’t shut down from lack of food and over stress as much now, as I am eating. Thats it for now though, I need to keep working on liking myself!

Wow thank you :) I never get these, so thank you so very much! 

33: Have you been able to eat a ‘fear food’? What was it? How did it feel? 

The first fear food I think I have successfully eaten that really is a big deal were my dad’s pancakes. It was amazing. Beautiful. So fucking gorgeous. I have eaten fear foods in the past and panicked, cried, tortured myself for days, and not eaten them again for fear of that. But those pancakes. I just loved them. I didn’t care. It made me so unbelievably happy. Freeing. I want that with all food. I want to be able to eat things I like. Without the panic and relapse.

37: Do you have more confidence in yourself now?

No. This I need to work on. I have very low self worth, I’ve never had confidence really, from being bullied all my childhood then walking into Bulimia then self harm then EDNOS I’ve just jumped from one form to the next, never stopping to try and help myself. That I have been working on for about a month now. It’s slow slow progress.

44: Did anyone reach out to you during your eating disorder? How did you respond? How do you feel about that now? 

Only my boyfriend. I was defensive at first ‘My body, I’ll eat what I want’ ‘I’m just healthy’. Orthorexia all the way. But now, Im begining to understand that was denial and the damage I was doing to myself was large. Now, I am just happy he didn’t push me too hard, but I am very glad he kept going.

45: What was your body’s purpose during your eating disorder? What is your body’s purpose now or what do you hope its purpose to be? 

It was a way to hurt myself. There to take the brunt of my emotional trauma and distract me from any other kind of pain. I want it to be there for me, doing what bodies should, and all healthy and full of energy. 

 

Thank you Lou :) I hope you’re having a lovely day xxx <3

1: What ‘eating disorder behaviours’ have you been able to overcome so far?
2: How did you overcome some of your eating behaviours?
3: What is a part of your body that you have come to love since embarking on recovery?
4: What does recovery mean to you?
5: Why have you chosen to recover?
6: What has recovery given you so far?
7: When you were in the depths of your eating disorder, what were some of the irrational/false beliefs you had? How are these different now?
8: What have you learnt to appreciate since starting recovery?
9: Can you remember when you started to think about recovery? What were your thoughts? Are these any different now?
10: What makes life worth living?
11: What things have you learnt about yourself since starting recovery?
12: What things did you used to deny yourself during your eating disorder? How do you feel when you allow yourself them now?
13: Who can you rely on for support?
14: What has been a positive stand out moment for you so far in recovery?
15: Have you had any ‘A-H-A’ moments?
16: What keeps you going day to day?
17: What is a food you missed during your disorder that you enjoy now?
18: What is a hobby you missed during your disorder that you enjoy now?
19: What did you eating disorder take away from you?
20: Have you experienced any relapse? How did you overcome it or how are you working through it?
21: Are you able to exercise for enjoyment? If not, how are you working towards this? If yes, what do you enjoy?
22: How were your relationships with others tested by your eating disorder? Are they better now?
23: How was your relationship to yourself tested by your eating disorder? Is it better now?
24: Do you believe that you are beautiful? Do you believe that one day, you will believe you are beautiful?
25: What are things you can do now you are recovering/recovered that you couldn’t do during your eating disorder?
26: Were you ever diagnosed with an eating disorder? How did this effect your recovery, either yes or no.
27: Have you identified triggers? How do you avoid them or manage them?
28: How have you rewarded yourself throughout recovery? If you haven’t, how can you?
29: What is a current short term goal you are aiming for in your recovery?
30: What does being ‘recovered’ mean to you? Do you think this goal is realistic?
31: Have you been able to take any positives from your experience of having an eating disorder?
32: What parts of recovery are you truly proud of?
33: Have you been able to eat a ‘fear food’? What was it? How did it feel?
34: What do you like about yourself now that you are in recovery?
35: When do you feel most attractive? Why? Is it a place, time or outfit?
36: What health problems are you now doing better with since embarking on recovery?
37: Do you have more confidence in yourself now?
38: How did your eating disorder &amp; recovery change the way you think about things now?
39: Were you ever in denial of your eating disorder? How did you overcome this?
40: If you could have started recovery earlier, would you?
41: Did you isolate yourself during your eating disorder? How has this changed now? If it hasn’t how do you hope it will?
42: How did your eating disorder behaviours make you feel about yourself? How do you feel about yourself in comparison now? Or how do you hope you will feel?
43: What was something that made you realise an eating disorder was unhealthy for you?
44: Did anyone reach out to you during your eating disorder? How did you respond? How do you feel about that now?
45: What was your body’s purpose during your eating disorder? What is your body’s purpose now or what do you hope its purpose to be?
46: What was success during your eating disorder? What is success in recovery?
47: Did you ever view ‘thinspo’ during your eating disorder? How do you feel about that now?
48: Did anyone ever encourage your weight loss? What would you say to them now if you could?
49: Do you plan to symbolise what you have been through in anyway?
50: If you could give advice to someone contemplating recovery, what would it be?

Hello everyone! I'm a complete newbie to the recovery community at the moment so I am quite lost on what to do! Please reblog if you are a recovery blog so I can follow you! Thank you very muchly! : D xxx